2004 (in process – editing)
- Building a System to Survive Sr. Tess | September 2004
Ann is a Multiple who lives in Brookfield, IL and has worked in Chicago at a Center for Adults with Developmental Disabilities. She is a Case manager among many other duties. While writing Ann discusses being unsure of herself, losing time and bringing her paperwork home from the office. She’s come up with a new organizational system to help her be “on-time.” Ann appears to be having trust issues with Sr. Tess the Administrator of her Center. She is overwhelmed with the amount of work she needs to do and is overeating as a stress deterrent. Ann is on her 5th day of being a non-smoker.
For Younger Folks – Pictures | Synopsis – 3 pages | PDF – blog entry – 24 pages
2. Developing self, Object relations, and Self-esteem | October 2004
Ann has been putting forth effort on work and commented that work and play seemed similar when focused on the clients.
She then had a nightmare involved with opening the casket of her maternal Grandfather. She had a sexual relationship with her Grandfather long before the age of four. The relationship had been extreme and uncontrolled both in her being overwhelmed and overstimulated. As well, she had a very physically and emotionally abusive relationship with her mother, and with her father who was largely distant and rejecting. She did have a Grandmother she could bond with on her paternal side though she died when Ann was eleven.
Through this month’s written work, Ann appears to feel incapacitated and disturbed by the desire to be in a love relationship with her doctor, Dr. Marvin. She might be projecting onto authority figures including those of her best friend/intimate lover. Her determination to become a non-smoker is unclear and self-guilt provoking. Hands have become a trigger to her and in defense she wants to stop interacting with people. Dr. Marvin re-establishes safe boundaries.
Ann has four note-worthy experiences. (1) She goes to a highly amazing event with her two sons and a friend (and the friend’s daughter). She saw for the first time a university football/ cheerleading event of 29,000 people. Her son and his friend were lead-cheerleaders. (2) She babysits her 3 ½ year old granddaughter for the first time (3) She works with the individuals at work both in a small group (11 people) and a large group (40 people) primarily focused on boundaries and self-esteem. (4) And finally, she goes on a romantic one-day trip with her actual lover. This month, the relationship had felt rejecting to her, especially when her lover felt the need to correct and re-motivate her when she tried to hide at home instead of going into work.
At work, Ann wrote a discussion concerning her survey/test with the individuals at the center on self-esteem. She focused on: (1) training, (2) the question, “Who am I?” (3) comparison to peers, (4) dysfunctional behavior, (5) learning empathy, (6) blurred boundaries, (7) being whole, (8) more able/less able, (9) good adult relating, (10) coherent sense of self-boundaries, and (11) self-becoming.